Ommmmm Ommmm effing Ommmmm

I woke up and did my morning bathroom run. I got the scale out. 240!!!! Oh shit! I know it is water weight. I ate cured ham last night and processed vegetables. I know they are full of salt, but still...I have this icky feeling of remorse and emotion. Not good. I go downstairs and see my grandson making hot dogs for breakfast. I tell him, "Don't eat the whole package". I should of said "Oh no, put that crap back and fix yourself some cereal". What is wrong with me? Then I pour some left over coffee from last night into a cup and (yuck) nuke it and drink it with some hazelnut creamer (had to add some hot water to make it taste better).

What I am driving at, is instead of just riding out this scale value..I take two of those hot dogs and then unpeel my own veggie cheese in plastic goo (two) grab a handful of cold instant flavored mashed potatoes put it in between the goo shove a hotdog in it and eat it like a disasterous burrito in less than 30 seconds flat. Oh then I feel the remorse. WTF ARE YOU DOING? THAT IS NOT EVEN FOOD! Why do I punish myself with food?  I am an emotional psycho food stuffing weirdo bitch someone slap me because I would of preferred the slap over the food. LOL Slaps have no carbs!

Good thing is that all I had was a plasty goo mash potato hot dog burrito (in less than 30 seconds). And that yucky coffee. That psycho part of me has no class or intelligence. It could of been ice cream, cookies, chips or pizza you effing dummy!!!

I went all around grumpy . I really screwed up my day for a moment. Hell of a way to start it. And I got paid and it is all going to the greater good and spent so that makes me feel bummed.

I need ZEN. And part of getting back there was bitching on my blog. Now for some fresh coffee, fresh water and a shower...I think I will let that Pilate Video torture me, too! Oh and clean my room. My folded laundry from yesterday needs to be put away(some stray pieces on the floor that I bumped into).

Bloggie Love.

WAHWEDNESDAY RAMBLE AND TATTOO DREAMS

So to explain the tattoo. My son in law is apprentice to our adopted Samoan brother "Big Hoss". If you wiki Samoan tattoos or are already familiar, it is a hardcore tradition in their Polynesian culture. Here it is just a respect for the old ways, nothing as drastic, but all his family have tribal type tattoos starting at age 14-15. They do not use the old ways with shark or boars teeth on a pole thing...It is just conventional machines. Those kids all eat a grip of junk food, play 360, want cell phones and Ipads so they can emo their Facebook status like regular kids all do! LOL

So I let my son in law tat me and now I am all looking for spaces for other ones. I have 9 tattoos already 3 are large and the others here and there. My right calf is taken. Sort of punky from a different time. Rough and showing age.  I chose the flowers as a transformation out of the rough. Yet there is an Edgar Allen Poe Raven...I really like I may use as a cover up on a tweeker (yep methamphetamine) scrawl on my right inner calf to keep it in the same genre. Mind you I have only two tweeker scrawls. The rest is a progress of years dating back to 1978 of garage shop tattoos.  Yep, like many a coming of age adult fat girl in the '80s, I got involved with Speed for a bout, but had the sense to realize it was not gonna work and just drive me insane! Thankful I did not get arrested. I did get a lot of laundry and housework done!

I vectored all the stuff in from Internet pics on the cover up below.  Photoshopping (actually I have GIMP a free clone) prevents me from using the real stuff  and keeps me being lazy artistically.

The above one is a test run. I manipulated the lines out of a vintage magazine cover using filters, inverting and de-saturate tools. I had to do all that to get the lines for the stencil.  I had that ready for last night as well...but the one was fine enough. Tonight or tomorrow I am getting it done on the inside of the same arm I got the one last night on. When I saw the cover I thought it to be my inner child. Plucking petals my whole life...either that or the one below I manipulated a vintage nude into this (last year)...Basically depicts my eternal search holding a lamp seeking ...It would require a pretty good portrait tattooist and there is one in our circle, but I think he charges (rightfully so). But it would be pretty gutsy to go around with a nude tattooed to my inner arm!

What is so apparent is that I go through all these round about ways to get something artsy out and never pick up a pencil or a brush...pretty sad. And a bit twisted need for love and acceptance...Long story...wah wah. Like this post.

Bloggie Love!