Saturday, April 30, 2011

Day 18

from YouTube

Our Primative Gardening!

My son in law tilled the garden spot. He stayed out of my daughter and me's way. We are primitive gardeners. We just took ten bucks of seeds from Wal Mart and dug around and joked about our lack of knowledge.

My daughter said something garden like and I said "Let's be sure to put that on our gardening show"! Then cracked up laughing. Got the Water melon , the cukes, the zuchinni, jalapenos, cauliflower, lettuce, radish , cantelope, green onions, corn, sugar peas, wax beans, and a side area with garlic chives.  We decided that if it is too much, we can always thin it out. We also did a half assed job on getting the weed pieces out the soil...

I wasn't that hungry.  I didn't want a 600 cal day so I forced myself to find some more calories.
Too much sodium in the lunchmeat...We are going shopping tomorrow!!!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Day 17

Lazy day, but I got the food in me despite it all! LOL.
I collect animated gif and have made some. I thought this was so cute that I's share it. Somebody made this as his avatar.
The son in law passed with honorable mention in his Truck Driving School. He leaves in a couple of days to his new upper middle class income job. Next month things will be better for them. We are cramming the bills right now just waiting it out with no extras. He has to drive and stay about 4 hours away in Wyoming for 2 weeks. They celebrated with pizza from his grandma and grandpa. I am glad that they only brought home pepperoni for the kids. I don't think I could handle a supreme pizza within my reach.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day 16

I read something just before my diet that made me believe Math would be on my side, if I just lowered my calorie intake. It worked for this first stretch HOWEVER
Focus! I want to keep the results I am focusing on WHAT is it I eat, as well.

OF COURSE one of the reasons I am a big woman is because I eat a lot. Oh there is no foolin' on that. But it is also WHAT I eat. I really don't need to eat a lot of cheese or butter to become a big butterball woman. I remember back 11 yrs ago when I was on the downscale of my fatdom below 200 barely. I moved in with a family and we all pitched in for groceries. My friend's sister is an amazing shopper.And of course Costco is an amazing store! Oh and there was cheese...I already started gaining from a size 32 jean to a size 36 and it never stopped.  I stopped wearing Levi's and I love them so. With a cool chicky shirt to accent the cleavage..They are the best all around fashion. Need not worry about the I think working and stretchy waistband black pants and drive thru DQ put 100 lbs on me before I knew it.  I loved the Classic Mushroom and Swiss burgers and a coffee heathbar blizzard. But fuck the Dairy Queen she is an enabling bitch.

Even with the food in the fridge, I could see that at least we bought lunchmeat that is not way out there in calories. 25 and 30 calorie slices makes for a big fat sandwich(the slices are 6x3 inches in size they are huge). But I noticed as well, the salt. No just one a day is like 1500mg of sodium...(after I ate them) I made half fat sandwiches no cheese and a tsp of Mayo. The smoked flavor stuck with me a while so I was not hungry. I won't be packing it in this way all the time of course because the salt will bloat and kill me.
The American Heart Association recommends that for every 1,000 Calories of food consumed, the sodium intake should be 1,000 mg and should not exceed the 3,000 mg limit.
The National Research Council of the National Academy of Sciences recommends an approximate daily range of 1,100 to 3,300 mg of sodium for adults.
 And the FDA set daily allowances above, but I am not a rocket scientist and know that the ones I highlighted are the ones I have to watch out for dieting. Since my daughter wants to diet, too, I am going to suggest a healthier choice in our shopping and include a case of H2O with electrolytes in it that tastes good.

This stuff is miraculous and as long as you use it to cook and divide in 4 servings, it is only 170mg of salt, but they have a no salt variety I will be buying next time. It is great to add to chicken and seafood to give it a zest. I used it tonight on my Tilapia because I really don't like a too fishy fish.


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Day 15

10 pounds!!
So as I mentioned in my edit before I posted this, I lost 10 pounds. I woke up and got on the scale right away. Weighed 3 times and it said what it said all three times! My daughter got into it and she weighed and said, "Yep the scale is working right"!

So now, I need to keep my mojo going. And just realize that I am not missing out on anything. Just eating to live. I need to not think about food in between and not look at the eaters like I am deprived.

Seriously. I have been fortunate that my family has been busy and I have a my own thing going on to when they do eat, I am not staring at them drooling. Oh yeah, I know there were cookies in the house and gotta admit that I did eat a couple and included them in my calorie count log and there was ice cream in the house and I am thankful that it went fast and was NOT sitting neglected in the freezer. I am also not watching regular TV and forced to see food commercials. I have my own stream agenda when it comes to movies and TV shows. And if I am really feeling intimidated by the beckoning of the evil refridgerator....I have my little scooter. Nothing is safer than going out with no money and just putzing around here and there! So that is the plan. 

I want to thank those who have been coming to my blog for being the watchful eye. I also want to thank you for your inspiring comments. 
Next weigh in will be May 11th. Oh wow May already! Can't wait to go shopping for fresh fruit and veggies and also planting some flowers and the garden. It will be the first garden since the 80's for me.


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Day 14

Skinless boneless chicken breast so easy to prepare and it seems to be the ultimate diet meat besides fish to feast upon. My dinner was tasty and satisfied the hunger. The spices and onions...put savor to it. I am happy with my day. Although no exercise, yet again. I weigh in the morning on my schizophrenic dialOmeter digital walmart special.

EDIT: Wednesday morning: I woke up, did the pee thing and then got out the scale. I weighed myself and I weigh 284.2 (repeated it 3 times and the scale says the same). from 294.4 
A 10 lb loss Hooray!
I have planned my dinner for tonight and tomorrow. Chicken again (that was a whole lotta food) and tomorrow I am having fish Tapatia Filets herbed.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Day 13

It was a good day. I guess it was my British day. I cleaned as I watched the last episode of the 10th Doctor and got to see the regeneration into the 11th Doctor Who. I am a season behind and so I need to catch up. I also checked out the series "Being Human". British TV gets aired here later, so I think the link I watched was British because for what I thought was a new series is in it's third season in Britain of "Being Human". A ghost, werewolf and vampire are room mates....I shall see how that goes. I also surfed around to read the weight loss blogs to get further inspiration.

Karaoke Anarchy in the UK from YouTube

The housekeeping and all was to keep my mind on wandering into hungry boredom. TV actually is not a good thing to distract from food, IF you are watching the commercials. I was streaming off of the Internet, so I was spared.

My daughter made shrimp tacos. Yum. Too bad I could not eat more they were goooood.

I am seeing the thing here on my diet is that I am not snacking with hunks of cheese now and then or a sandwich here or there or eating the leftovers in the fridge as a snack late night. No convenience store sodas...(my husband used to call it sugar water and donuts and candy "fat pills").

Still need to work on the exercising..Weigh in soon. Wednesday morning.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Day 12

Easter and of course festivities with food. I didn't want to be disrespectful of the time it took to baste and cook those spare ribs and complain too loud about the food diet wise. I didn't let them meet the new diet whiner me. I tried real hard to match the calories on the calorie counter, but those ribs were so good that I think they must of had much more calories to them. I made sure I had the ones with the least sauce on them. And I compensated for the sauce just in case on my chart.
I found that I was not so camera shy. I thought evidence is needed for me to later compare to when I am able to go to the womens dept and not the plus size part. LOL
The grand kids were out and about eating their candy and only one time when I saw some chocolate go into a friend of theirs mouth did I look and think "Chocolate".

I feel good about today and my food list.Not stressin'.
Before I went out I took a long bath with the stereo blasting and cut my bangs and about 3 inches in length. Put on some make up and headed out to our friend's barbeque. I think I posted I would do the weigh in at 2 weeks that is in 2 days.


Saturday, April 23, 2011

DAY 11

Star Wars Sad Melody on YouTube

So when I was a grocery checker, I remember passing 20 lbs of pork and beef briskets through. I would lift it and go "whoa  if it were on my arse and I lost it...that would be some poundage"!  And in real math that those awful greek guys who wore togas and thought up the whole thing...20 is only 5 times to 100!!! Yet put that on a diet plan....
All I can say to myself with that in mind is "Patience young padawan one day I shall be a Jedi"!

 I really like Star Wars. I read the complete Star Wars Knights of The Old Republic comic book series...and this was as an adult..LOL

Looking back on the past ten days...all in all I have been keeping up with at least the calories and the counting except for:  It could of been a chicken fried steak catastrophe...but I did not pile it on. I almost snacked but the real fat bitch had an eye on me and I gave it to her and she likes it when I diet. Better down the gut of a hound then in my face tempting me at a weak moment.
Exercise...I had this plan but ....let me start trying again. I did take a ride and browse around Hastings Bookstore.

DAY 10

courtesy of YouTube

Madonna is my contemporary and only a year younger. I enjoy her music, yet when it was on the charts, I was listening to the rock channel and well thinking I was one. LOL. I even had a punk rock era...

I decided to cut the mystery and reveal my mug. I seem to be down on myself with the blog title and everything, however, I am just a content woman who got comfortable in her ways. That is not bleach blond by the way. I turned gray early like my daddy and my wonderful aunt Louise I only met as a child of 6. I told myself when the time comes I am going to have lovely silver hair like my wood nymphy Aunt Louise.

Zoey just a day old I saw the whole process for the 1st time!
The Madonna Stamp is a photomanipulation of a google photo of Madonna. It is the sixth in my Deviant Art Series. I also did some with old movie star women smoking called The Tobacco Collection. This latest one I did to offer to Tim. Hope you like it.
 My goal now is to get over the past 3 days of eating a bit beyond my original plan

Friday, April 22, 2011


Song courtesy of YouTube
With my mind on my calories and my calories on my mind!
Since all the weight loss bloggers are so nice to share their strength and knowledge, I thought I would share a blog trick! 

The above YouTube strip is made by just changing the embed code real simply. You need to use the old embed code that is an option just below the embed code you see to copy on YouTube. Where you see the yellow you need to make that happen. I found that height 27 or 26 on some is an exact match to the strip and then you need to type the autoplay instructions just at the end of the url statement before the quotation marks. It makes for a compact one song posting. Hope you like it.

I am going to do the weigh in every two weeks. So let me see April 27th will be my date.

Thanks for being out there!

Thursday, April 21, 2011


Today we went out to eat for dinner. Celebrating my son in law's new job and first time into a job that will elevate his family from just above a poverty salary and into the low end of Upper Middle class at 89,000 a year. It is a great leap for a 25 yr old.
I was put to the test and went over a bit. I did avoid the desserts and starchies. I ate way more than I have since I have started.

A good thing is I bought a scale. It is digital and I was reading the directions as I came home. It said that if you weigh over the Max 300 it will display an E. I just hoped it would not. I put it on the floor it shows the zero get on and what do I see?
An "E" Oh felt so bad, and so I got off and got back on and then it read 293.4. I felt kind of better, but still went back to check the directions. I then get back on and it reads 294.4. I thought no friggin way!!! I got off and did it again 294.4. Then I told my daughter who just had a dr's appt and knew what she weighed. She goes no friggin way. I told her to see if it varied and it did not. And she said well we just went out to eat and knew she had at least five pounds of food in her.

The online reviews say digital it the best. It is a HealthOmeter from Wal Mart...
I am just gonna accept that I am a FAT

I started my log in play with the calorie count website with accurate data now and this is what I got:

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Uh oh there is no structure to my diet. I just count calories. I look at labels and research. I hope I am not depressing you who may have done the studies with this chaos. My initial plan was just to get some mojo going. Then when I can handle the scale and the structure, I will try to find a healthier way to shove it into my mouth.LOL 

As it is.. I ate way too much today. My excuse...well comon! SHRIMP.  I didn't expect shrimp for dinner. I was going to just fudge the formal and have cereal. 

I took off on my scooter today and went to Barnes and Noble and putzed around for an hour at the mall. It is still way cold to ride, but I bundled up. I am gonna do something tomorrow. I rushed into buying this Yamaha. My mom was paying and she rushed me. It is name brand, but the cheaper ones that go for half the value go twice as fast. I heard they have mechanics issues with parts with some of them. It carries my weight, but I can't go faster than 38 to 40 miles per hour. It is just a town hopper. And I feel safe and slow. Everybody here smiles at me when I ride it like a woman with gray hair and a fat ass is a spectacle and I just smile back. I really wouldn't mind a beach cruiser bike for the exercise.

Thanks for peeking at me. I appreciate it so much.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Another day!  With my mind on my calories and my calories on my mind.
I spent the morning smudging up some art as I do...I call it my Profane The Arts Project.. A while back, I took the Rockwell that is on my header and my GIMP image manipulation program (which if you don't know is just a freeware form of PhotoShop) and smudged around making the skinny girl who dreamed with the magazine of Jane Russell into a fat girl seeing a skinny girl in the mirror she wished to be.
Today I found Charles Burton Barber's art and smudged it into a fat little girl scenario on two of his oil paintings of fame. It is on my sidebar...
I remember as a chubby little girl my mom always telling me I was fat and I was, but in my mind, I would have hoped that I could go home and be spared humiliation. We once went to the mall when I was 12 to Sears and she made a big fuss about having to go there to find clothes that would fit me. She said outloud in public " I think they have a brand here called LARDO". My mom loved me, but unknowingly she defined me.
My esteem told me I was a LARDO. The kids that called me fat in school further established that.
They say "What does not kill me makes me stronger"...(Tupac?nah he stole it from Nietzsche), but I dunno...sometimes it can just work on you and you can just embrace the pain and realize you took it to own.
As an adult, I learned to deal with it leave it behind like toys in the attic. But although I had put the hurt away, the hurt was stored somewhere I can go to an see...and in my mind of thought and memories...
 I thought of conquer or be conquered...don't know where is comes from, but then I found theses trying to find out.
“To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others”
Buddha quotes (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)

“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes (American Poet, Lecturer and Essayist, 1803-1882)

“Trials, temptations, disappointments - all these are helps instead of hindrances, if one uses them rightly. They not only test the fiber of character but strengthen it. Every conquering temptation represents a new fund of moral energy.”
James Buckham (American poet/author 1858-1908)

“Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one's liberty.”
Henri Frederic Amiel quotes (Swiss writer known for his masterpiece Journal intime, 1821-1881)
A victory over oneself is a bigger and a better victory than victory over thousands of people in a score of battles. Those who have achieved victory over other people can be defeated in future battles, but those who have achieved victory over themselves become victors forever.
 (and that last one is special from a special person who posted it on Facebook and is a strong woman I admire a friend of mine's sister who was a scary psycho guzzle the vodka  on drugs when driving with the kids and became the most sober and intelligent woman I have encountered and is now 24 yrs sober through AA )

I read a blog the other day, I don't know if you network to it or not, but this young girl has accomplished so much! She blogs about her encounter with a school bully that nicknamed her 'Tubby"  years after the fact and her post was about closure [link]
It helped the little girl still in me that felt the pain. That is why I feel network diets must be the best.

 It is good to know the virtual eye is on me. Thanks for checking in on me.
No exercise Monday...kinda lazy in a daze. Stayed up late researching politics to keep up with my facebook friends. Politics can cause so much stress. Obama this and Obama that and nu uh he dit ent? And seeing if he did.. There is this website called SNOPES that you can find out if stuff on the internet is true of false....they should have one for politics and what is out there being said.

I  graduated high school in Madison Wisconsin and left there when I was 20. Spending a split childhood there. Elementary to 4th grade, then my dad left the University violent tear gas and cops with billy clubs environment to work as an adviser in Brasil with the USAID program for 4 years and then we returned to Wisconsin and I finished high school there. .
Since the protests, I have been looking into the depressing political machine....

Out of the many diets I did earlier in life, I never drank enough water. And now it is funny how STILL the tap is just there 15 ft away...I have this bottled water bottle that is 16oz and rationalized I can fill it up and guzzle it down in one quick motion like a frat boy does with a beer in college! Still I have found myself having to cram like a frat boy at finals just to make my calorie log form jive!

Sunday, April 17, 2011


I toned down my blogger ID to FB.

Today was boring as far as food. I had to get along with the eaters. LOL
I surfed the web and got involved in a long FaceBook commenting session. I was balancing that, two cups of coffee and intermittent grandma visits asking if I was going to be on my computer for long.  Oh and a diaper change. This was my breakfast. Then I decided to start on lunch.



Saturday, April 16, 2011


This music is corny but it is a weird motivator. I will log on the blog and let it play for a bit as I do this and that when I am feeling my binging beast gnaw at me. There are actually 3 Rocky songs on there! LOL!

I woke up at 8:30 AM (I had stayed up watching 2 episodes of Sparticus until 2 AM) somehow I am more energetic and ready to wake up earlier, though.

Surfed the net with my coffee. Thankful for the blog success stories. Commenting and working on finding the right network of support.

Nobody was really in the mood for a breakfast together. The son in law went to school. It was his first day behind the wheel of a big rig at his Truck Driving Training school.

My daughter awoke after me and said she didn't want a big breakfast. I got sort of off the norm on this to satisfy my Junkfood junkie syndrome. My mind on those left over dinner rolls. Rhodes Gourmet White Dinner Rolls to be specific. The kind that comes frozen and you need to put them out to rise. I was really good at dinner time last night not partaking in those and the choice they had of Caramel Butter Pecan Ice Cream or Death By Chocolate Ice Cream option they had for dessert last night.

Ice cream ICE SCREAM we all scream for ICE CREAM! My second pregnancy in 1988 the last stretch! I had a run in with gourmet ice cream at discounted prices! Lucky Food Stores had their own gourmet flavors and 2 favorites "Peanut Butter Cup" and "Mocha Almond Fudge".

Using an online calorie logger too lazy to edit that creamer for breakfast is my usual 2 cups with homemade creamer which is always 100 calories.

EXERCISE routine (passive beginner movie motivated)
Turned on NetFlix did
15 scrunchees
10 squats
10 leg things in 3 different positions.
15 waist swivels
Rode the exercise bike 15 mins

We had some drama going on with a sick puppy. I was taking care of it and I did some emotional feeding on the ice cream. 
Since I started this diet after grocery shopping already, I have to use what I have in the fridge. I am going to try to get everyone involved in healthier foods and we are starting a garden come payday.

I want to keep it interesting and make my meals healthy and appealing to the eye on a plate and eat it slowly. I am going to dump the creamer and accustom myself to black coffee...uhhh maybe. It is hazelnut...What I need to do is modify the recipe (my daughter makes the batches) and just sneak toranni and a spoon of dry creamer...

This journaling and the fact that I know I am blogging  what I eat, I really can prevent the times I eat whole bags of nachos with velveeta and salsa dip or cut into a NY cheese cake and eat a quarter pie slice. And with that ice cream problem, I could eat half of the box and then hit the rest for breakfast as I did my last two months pregnant in 1988!!

Thanks for stopping by.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Day 3

Day Three...and I was worried about burn out if I went too low on the calories.  I was hungry a lot today.

I am 53 yrs old and in my days, I have done all sorts of things ending with meth. When I did meth, I was always better than the other crack ho's because I was dieting. Yeah Sure! The last time I did meth in any manner was 10 yrs ago. I then never really cared about dieting much. So the past 10 yrs I have accepted my weight gain after the Meth days. 

Now I am getting older and really not that old. I really feel that it ages me and puts me at a greater risk to leave this wonderful world.

Today I was HUNGRY. I tried to tell my mind that I was not. 

Woke up at 8:30 AM
Cleaned the kitchen (sweep, mop)

2 cups of coffee with homemade hazelenut creamer 100 cal
2 egg omlette w/cheese turkey breast slice and onion fried 400 cal approx

3 personal bottles of water

A bowl of uncut frozen greenbeans  50
7 medium shrimp steamed 80
1/3 tomato fresh

bowl of cereal about an hour later (ee gahd) 180

3 waters

2 chicken fajitas 347 ? [link] calories but I did not put sourcream or anything on them, yet I am going to add to that figure and make it 450 calories.

3 waters


EXERCISE routine (passive beginner movie motivated)
Turned on NetFlix did
15 scrunchees
10 squats
10 leg things in 3 different positions.
15 waist swivels
Rode the exercise bike 15 mins

I read on Jack Sh*t Getting Fit a message that you better not be skipping breakfast. So I don't.
I also try to make sure I eat all three meals. 

I read 266's weight loss log and noticed she had good balanced meals and her exercise was passive. Her story progression pics amazed me. I knew I could do what she did and really appreciated her sharing with such detail.

I will get less shy as this progresses and put pics up and quit denying my scale reading.


Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day 2

If you notice, I have not weighed in. I have this scale that lies (yeah sure) IT DOES. I am sure it weighing me at least 5 lbs more or who knows. I am just going to set a date for a weigh in June.Why? Because last time 3 mos ago I weighed myself  on a doctors' and I weighed 275, but now on this home scale it only reaches 280 and I reached it. I am embarrassed and hope it doesn't go further on a scale that goes beyond 280.

I will keep consistent in making a journal of my calorie intake and what activity I did.
ACCORDING TO MY BMR CALCULATIONS I need to only consume 1919 calories to lose a pound a week.
I am sure there is some law in not starving, but I will decide what days I am starving and eat more and other days eat less but I will not go over 1200 calories!

The blog journal people I have visited insist you must drink lots of water, so I WILL.

I have no followers right now and considering my fat ass...I am not a leader in weight loss. If anyone does log on...Hi. See what a fat bitch I am?

Woke up at 9:30am

two fried eggs 184 cal
1 falls brand lumberjack link sausage 100 cal
two strips of bacon 100 cal
1/2 a pancake 150 cal
2 cups of coffee with homemade creamer 100
Total calories 634

3 glasses of water

a bowl of frozen whole green beens with salt/pepper and a spritz of apple cider vinegar. 50 cal
I ate them like french fries.

3 glasses of water


steak chuck 4 oz 150 cal
(cooked in barbeque sauce) 100 cal
950 rounded off.

3 glasses of water

I did a mass of dishes.
Turned on NetFlix did
15 scrunchees
10 squats
10 leg things in 3 different positions.
15 waist swivels
Rode the exercise bike 15 mins

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Welcome to Day 1

Yes, my name is Fat Bitch. I have been a Fat Bitch for most of my Fat bitch life. Why I call myself Fat Bitch is because it is the first thing other bitches call me when they are pissed off at me.
And now I am pissed off at myself.
I am a lot like the Barbie who was sort of skinny up to a point (above). I was always a chubby girl. In high school chubby was size 13.  At 5 ft 5 all through high school I maintained my weight well because I played tennis. I never went as high as 150 lbs (which I thought was enormous).

After high school I stopped playing tennis, but not having a car still made me walk a lot, so I kept it down. I even joined the Air Force (because I burned all other bridges with a pile of good weed). In the Air Force (Reserves) I met a full time Air Force man and ended up marrying him. I soon started gaining weight because I ate as much as he did. Piles of food. Then I also smoked a bit of weed despite being Air Force Reserve (it was a risk) oh and I had the munchies a lot. I got pregnant. Stopped smoking of course and gained 10 lbs for every month I was pregnant. 

I stayed that way up and down no more than 40 lbs below or above 250 lbs!!! From age 25 to now 53.

So fuck it I am not staying this way. Now that I am older the weight is hard to carry. And I am fucking tired of feeling like shit and thinking I am shit.  I don't have much of a wardrobe. I have so much black that I look like a communist. And I sweat in my fatty grooves and it make me have an odor if I don't keep up on it and shower more than regularly. I go out like an agoraphobic celebrity with dark sunglasses and baggy jacket.
It is not just a physical thing it is mental and I am mental to begin with coming from the '70's!! I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am sad. Food is a pleasure thing with me.

I have seen blogs documenting their diets and putting pics and stats on the sidebar. Oh I like blogging. I have two other blogs that I am obsessed with and post regularly. However, I am doing this anonymously and not connecting my two blogs to this..not like they are popular or I have a lot of followers...I just want to keep them separate.

Considering the time...I need to catch up and drink some more water.

Here is what I ate today:
Breakfast (I got up at 10 )
  • A bowl of Life cereal (ate this after browsing and a cup of coffee at 1 pm) 200 calories
  • two cups of coffee with sugar free creamer (homemade) 100 cal
  • 64 ounces of wylers peach ice tea sugar free.
  • 4 oz skinless chicken breast 100 cal plus some soy sauce make it 150
  • frozen green beans salt and pepper to taste 30 cal
rounding it off to 500 calories today. Not hungry...haven't been very active. 
I ate the green beans with my fingers giving me a pseudo french fries kind of action.

 Homemade creamer (because the store bought goes too quick and is expensive...filling 32 fl. oz bottle

2 cups dry creamer 2450 cal.
2 cups milk 300 cal
1/2 cup sugar free Toranni flavor
1/4 cup of splenda

after all is said and done in is about a good guess that I put at least 3 tsp of this stuff in my coffee and there are 192 tsp in 32 fl oz and blah blah blah it is no more than 50 cal per coffee

I have logged into and will link the Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) calculator and the Basic Mass Index calculator on my side bar.
And of course a calorie counter. 

Basal Metabolic Rate is the amount of calories it takes for you just to lie down all day.  

And this is the truth for the world and I to see what I am doing and will it work. I promise to eat more, but today luckily that is all I wanted and I feel full.