Friday, March 23, 2012
2012 whoo hoo!
Man...2012...has got to get better for me. All sorts of crap and bad news. And damn...I finally spent a snowless winter only to have a different kind of cold this season.
My sister dying and communicating with my mother again just kind of took me back. Then a friend I had not seen since 1985 and is younger died last week. He had a life of health problems and I imagined he had passed long ago. I found him on Facebook last year. That took me back as well.
I guess for a bit I have been sitting on my ass feeling old. I so much want to avoid the sitting, contemplating old stories and either being bitter or wearing a big OLD label in my cozy chair spot reminiscing and thinking that this is the end. Screw that shit.
Oh oh flashback. I was 28 and the friend who just died had a neighbor with a kid. The husband was in the Air Force and lean and military looking. She was like 260 lbs and blamed it all on being pregnant. They had a picture of her beauty queen prom date picture where she was all so svelt. I remember having to climb out the window for some reason. She had said "I could never do that". You know, I was overweight as well. Around maybe 220 at my highest those days and also recently had a baby...but damn if I was gonna NOT or CAN'T DO. Is being FAT a license for being non physical? Screw that shit, too.
Bloggies! Just don't do that to yourself.
I am all good now thinking that regardless my weight I HAVE DONE AND CAN DO. I am seriously all good about that. If I AM a bit sedentary, it is just laziness. I will be OK. I am OK. Let's tally this all at the end of this year and see where I will be. I have kept the pounds I lost off and I am thankful for that. Let's just see when I get back on this horse.
Again apologies for dissing on the Challenges...I guess I had a mental challenge I needed to conquer.