Man...2012...has got to get better for me. All sorts of crap and bad news. And damn...I finally spent a snowless winter only to have a different kind of cold this season.
My sister dying and communicating with my mother again just kind of took me back. Then a friend I had not seen since 1985 and is younger died last week. He had a life of health problems and I imagined he had passed long ago. I found him on Facebook last year. That took me back as well.
I guess for a bit I have been sitting on my ass feeling old. I so much want to avoid the sitting, contemplating old stories and either being bitter or wearing a big OLD label in my cozy chair spot reminiscing and thinking that this is the end. Screw that shit.
Oh oh flashback. I was 28 and the friend who just died had a neighbor with a kid. The husband was in the Air Force and lean and military looking. She was like 260 lbs and blamed it all on being pregnant. They had a picture of her beauty queen prom date picture where she was all so svelt. I remember having to climb out the window for some reason. She had said "I could never do that". You know, I was overweight as well. Around maybe 220 at my highest those days and also recently had a baby...but damn if I was gonna NOT or CAN'T DO. Is being FAT a license for being non physical? Screw that shit, too.
Bloggies! Just don't do that to yourself.
I am all good now thinking that regardless my weight I HAVE DONE AND CAN DO. I am seriously all good about that. If I AM a bit sedentary, it is just laziness. I will be OK. I am OK. Let's tally this all at the end of this year and see where I will be. I have kept the pounds I lost off and I am thankful for that. Let's just see when I get back on this horse.
Again apologies for dissing on the Challenges...I guess I had a mental challenge I needed to conquer.
Bloggie love!
We are kind of in the same boat it sounds. Better days ahead.
ReplyDeleteI think my mid-life crisis had a lot to do with me deciding to find a way out of obesity. Just feeling OLD and USELESS and full of regrets. FULL of regrets, and the big one being not taking care of myself. Huge regret. Despite being sickly since childhood, I made a lot of crap decisions that made a bad thing MUCH WORSE. I had had two lost decades to illness..and decided I needed to find a way to a better place. Feeling old sucks. And I felt 80 years old.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it's mortality, regrets, and feeling old that makes us want to shake things up. I'm still in that "I have to make this BETTEr and BETTEr so I have fewer regrets when I die."
Let's do it babe. The good place of doing what we wanna do that we can do, and i suspect we can do more than we imagine.
On we go...
We can learn from the mistakes of others; we don't have to make them all ourselves. Glad you're back and have found your "why". Take care.
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