Friday, June 1, 2012

Ommmmm Ommmm effing Ommmmm

I woke up and did my morning bathroom run. I got the scale out. 240!!!! Oh shit! I know it is water weight. I ate cured ham last night and processed vegetables. I know they are full of salt, but still...I have this icky feeling of remorse and emotion. Not good. I go downstairs and see my grandson making hot dogs for breakfast. I tell him, "Don't eat the whole package". I should of said "Oh no, put that crap back and fix yourself some cereal". What is wrong with me? Then I pour some left over coffee from last night into a cup and (yuck) nuke it and drink it with some hazelnut creamer (had to add some hot water to make it taste better).

What I am driving at, is instead of just riding out this scale value..I take two of those hot dogs and then unpeel my own veggie cheese in plastic goo (two) grab a handful of cold instant flavored mashed potatoes put it in between the goo shove a hotdog in it and eat it like a disasterous burrito in less than 30 seconds flat. Oh then I feel the remorse. WTF ARE YOU DOING? THAT IS NOT EVEN FOOD! Why do I punish myself with food?  I am an emotional psycho food stuffing weirdo bitch someone slap me because I would of preferred the slap over the food. LOL Slaps have no carbs!

Good thing is that all I had was a plasty goo mash potato hot dog burrito (in less than 30 seconds). And that yucky coffee. That psycho part of me has no class or intelligence. It could of been ice cream, cookies, chips or pizza you effing dummy!!!

I went all around grumpy . I really screwed up my day for a moment. Hell of a way to start it. And I got paid and it is all going to the greater good and spent so that makes me feel bummed.

I need ZEN. And part of getting back there was bitching on my blog. Now for some fresh coffee, fresh water and a shower...I think I will let that Pilate Video torture me, too! Oh and clean my room. My folded laundry from yesterday needs to be put away(some stray pieces on the floor that I bumped into).

Bloggie Love.


  1. Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. Moving was a trip down mempry lane just like you said. I will be glad when all is unpacked and landscaping is all finished. Keep up the good workk as I see you are losing. Good job

  2. Don't beat yourself up too badly! Just get back on track and look forward, not back!


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